They say that the red poppy represents remembrance and hope.

This week’s self-portraits were taken in the poppy field in Mantua here in Northern Utah.

It. Was. Gorgeous.

Seriously, so damn beautiful.

But, also so damn crowded. Families and photographers galore, but really I completely understand why.

I saw posts floating around Facebook about how crowded it was and almost tossed the idea. If I had, I would have come up with something equally awesome I am sure. But I did decide to go and I do not regret a second of it.

So back to what the poppies represent: remembrance and hope.

The meaning came about after the First World War, as they graced the grounds after all those who had fallen. This is a piece of history I did not know and learned while I was researching the significance of poppies.

What I pulled from them which drew me to the field for this week’s portraits is the “remembrance and hope” aspect. The color was another driving factor as red usually is associated with death or danger.

I want to remember who I was.
I want to remember who I am.
I want to remember all the good that came from the bad.
I want to remember that I am stronger than the trauma and negative experiences.
I want to remember what it taught me.
I want to remember how I chose to grow.
I want to remember it all.

I have hope that I find the love I deserve.
I have hope for grand adventures.
I have hope that I will rise above.
I have hope that I will be able to help others with what I’ve learned.
I have hope I will be who I am aiming to be.
I have hope that I will raise fierce, independent, loveable, caring, and respectful human beings.
I have hope for everything that is coming.
I simply have hope.

I acknowledge that there is death in all of this. My marriage died. My dreams died. My hope died. My love died. What I thought my life was going to be like; dead.
With death comes new life. I do not regret a single thing. I don’t even wish anything to be different. Everything I have done has shaped me into the person I am today and I really like who I am today.

I bid ado to my old life, as it too was another casualty.
And promise this rebirth will be one full of love and life and beauty and adventure. ❤️